It’s that time… time to fill the chips, move the monkeys, release the constraints and LET GO. At the close of yet another year, it is time for me to review and evaluate that which slowed me down physically and emotionally. Evaluate that which reduced confidence, increased worry and fear and start to work to rid my head and heart of the weight. As with every year… there is always magic and good, but it cannot be overlooked that there were moment where I lost myself, moments where worry was confining and fear took over. Moments when my best me was no where to be found. So today, prior to finalizing my New Years Resolutions, today I reflect on what I don’t want to return, what I don’t want to repeat, who I don’t want to be entering 2014 and I say good bye to the weight of the negative.
Today I let it go. I let go of the mom guilt of 2013; the times my fuse was short and my tension was high and my kids fell victim to my quick tongue and my frustrations. I let go of the fact that I could have used sweeter words and that I could have had more patience. I let go of the fact that I didn’t slow down and I rushed through some magical moments. Today I let go of the self doubt I carried in 2013; the moments of comparison, the negative self-talk, the fear of change and taking chances on myself. Today I let go of the need for perfection from 2013; kids rooms will be messy, sinks may fill with dirty dishes, there will always be a pair of shoes lying around, tantrums will occur through all ages and people will not always behave exactly as I wish they would. Today I let go of the “not good enough” from 2013; the work day, the cleaned house, the laundry, the jogs, the workouts, the homemade meals.
Today I let it all go. There are moments in my life when life will not be perfect, I’ve experienced a few. But those moments are the moment when I grow and my heart gets bigger and my understanding get wider and my empathy grows. Today I let go of all my imperfect moments as they taught me something incredible. I let go of all the not-so-good as it opened my eyes to the beautiful. Today I let go of the “I wish I would’s” and remain ever so grateful for the “I did’s”.
2013, you were a good year. Thank you for the blessings.