You guys, I have to be honest. I have struggled to feel at home in any home I have lived in as an adult. I am not certain why. Maybe it is because my mom is the grand master of making a house feel like a home. Maybe it’s because every house I have lived in as an adult always needed something more. Five different floorings, rental, after rental, after rental and a backyard renovation, there has always been a gap between house and home for me.
Now that the Mr and I are in “our” home and now that we’ve been living here and dreaming here and loving here… our house is slowly and surely starting to feel like our home. We have encountered a couple hurdles on our path to homie-ness. We’ve had a scorpion or three crawl through family space as if they were a member of our clan. And we had a tick infestation (thank you Zoe and Arkham) in which the ticks took control of our home and our clan for a solid two months. We started fresh on the furniture front and as that goes, not every room can be completed immediately, we finally have a proper dining room table.
In the short 14 months this house has been ours we have already changed the master bedroom bedding a couple of times, we have completed the front yard hardscaping and landscaping while killing a few plants, green thumbs we are not, and we have made many plans for our dream backyard. It is our perfect blank canvas after all, and was absolutely the selling point that tug on our heart strings and inspired our purchase.
During these past 14 months, no matter how much work and heart I was putting into our house, I have continued to dream about what our “dream” house would look like. I planned the location in my head, I imagined the layout, the décor would dance through my mind and I would envision us living, laughing and loving somewhere else.
This past holiday season I was inspired to take our family photos at our home. Really, laziness inspired me and time limitations motivated me. But, once we get past the reality that I backed myself into a family photo session corner and we enjoy the results of such a situation, I have realized how much I love my home.
Sure it was dreamy with beautiful holiday décor. Sure, I quickly got into the holiday spirit and ensured that our little mid-century modern house was all mid-century mod Christmas’d out. Sure all of the kids were able to casually wake up and get ready in their comfort zone. Sure, there was no rushing to a location and so tension was low.
But, you guys… it was so much more than that. To see my home through a different lens, I quickly fell in love with what we have created. I fell in love with the concrete walkway lined with Sticks of Fire, they didn’t disappoint their fire was glowing. I loved seeing our concrete wall used as a prop and seeing our trellises as the perfect wreath display. I loved that our bar looked beautifully vintage with modern flare and I loved that our family room, though small, contained so much love and laughter.
You guys, my holiday home opened my heart to what I have right now. Seeing pictures through another’s lens allowed me to see all the beauty in the right here and the right now. I now walk into my home and look around and see a cozy space where my girls lay on the shag rug to watch movies together. I see a kitchen that is ideal for creating delicious and nutritious meals for my clan as well as yummy gooey desserts. I see bedrooms that are escapes for each one of us. The spaces within our home, though small, bring us all safety and security and allow each one of us to be authentically ourselves. Sure, there are “things” we still want to do to our little space in this world, but what we have right now is pretty darn incredible.
At least that’s what I think…
* Photo credit YTW Photography