July 1st 2010

BEST. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE!!!!
On July 1, 2010 my daughter Avery Grace was born. After 25 hours of labor, 1 hour of pushing and an emergent c-section Avery blessed this world. Weighing in at 7 pounds 8 ounces, with a height of 20 inches… My angel entered this world.

The labor started at roughly 9pm on June 30th and ended at 10:17 pm on July 1st. 25 hours of pain, medication, attempts to deliver, nerves, fears and joy. What a roller coaster ride birth is.

In being 100% honest, I did not feel connected to Avery when she was first born. In part because the medication was seriously intense, especially after 25hours and because I did not hold her for nearly two hours post delivery. There is a connection I feel is made when a baby is born vaginally. Seeing the baby immediately, holding the baby immediately, bonding immediately.

Our hospital stay was lovely, with a rotation of nurses and a slew of very important guests, we went home on July 4th. The emotion started the minute she was locked into the car in her car seat. I cried the entire drive home. The entire day after arriving at home. It hit me, I was a mom and the house wasn’t as clean as it should be, I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted to be, I had a life I was responsible for, I can’t slack off anymore, there is someone so much more important than me and this person needs me to be the best me I can be… I’m not the best me I can be, not yet…

After a couple weeks at home, with support of family, friends, doctors and little miss Avery, I pulled out of my sadness. We got into a routine, we venture out on the town for a quick bite with friends or a stroll around Target. We spend days with grandma and we have visited the office a couple times to introduce the little one to those who watched her grow.

Tomorrow we hit the 4 week mark and I will be honest, I still have HUGE fears, but I also have HUGE LOVE. I never knew my heart could get any bigger. I never knew I could feel more love than I already felt… I never knew the magic that is motherhood… I am so in love and I look at her and smile from the inside out as she is my life’s blessing.