Seems ruts happen even when we are fighting hard to prevent them… Seems even our best efforts to prevent being side tracked don’t always stop that from happening. Seems we cannot always fake it until we make it. Seems happy is organic. And it also seems when you forget to look for the good you will lose it.
I’ve been lost inside myself for some time these days. Working towards something “bigger”, “better” and “healthier”. In all the working towards I forgot about the living “in”. Living in the moment, living in the present, living in the good. And in forgetting to look for what is good and right, that which is right in front of me, I’ve taken this beautiful, happy life for granted.
The other day it hit me… A co-worker was telling a cute story about her daughter wanting to have multiple men lined up as not one was just yet satisfactory. She wants a strong, burly biker guy to protect her. A smart, career minded fella that is financially stable to take care of her. She wants a sweet, kind and cuddling guy to snuggle up and watch movies and TV shows with. And the emotionally there one to be her rock and support through life. As I was listening to the story it hit me… She wants my fella. My fella is that fella. He is dynamic; strong and protective, successful and smart, cuddly and caring & emotionally walking with me through life.
In that moment I knew I was entirely focused on all the wrong things. For two years I’ve been diagnosing what is broken and finding solutions to “fix” it. And my mind hasn’t turned off. I need to flip the switch back to living and loving and being. Because in that moment I knew… he might know that I know… but, he is the whole entire package. And in this moment, in this life right now, he is mine and I am his.
Are we perfect, NOPE. Do we have our issues, YES. Our moments, of course. Big problems, they have happened to us too. Do we navigate through the tough stuff to better love, trust and understand one another, daily. BUT, we are each others… We are not broken, we are on a journey. And I know I need to show him, tell him and love him according to the positive because the negative will always be there. The breaks will come and they will go, but they will not break us. Not unless WE let them.
I love my every guy, guy. He is incredible. I hope he knows just how much I love him… xo