36 Questions to Fall In Love

[photo credit: melanie moore via ytw photography]

I’ve been in love for a long time now. I’ve experienced love in many different forms. I thought I had encountered true love in the past and I now know true love for myself. The Mr and I have been loving one another for five years now and our love still feels like it is growing; deeper, more authentic, more understanding. However, I love love and I love the idea of exploring and growing our love in any way I can. I love quotes and reading about ways to strengthen our bond, testing ways to express love differently, exploring ways to show love that are new to our relationship.

Rewind to last week… On the dear old Facebook, where I must admit I learn a great many things and I read a great many articles, mom blogs and posts, my niece shared an article from the NY Times titled “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This“. Of course my interest was piqued and I read the article immediately.

The premise, that any two strangers can fall in love. The study conducted by Dr. Arthur Aron was successful in making two strangers fall in love in a scientific laboratory. The study is a series of 36 intimate questions, broken into three sets, each set becoming more invasive and personal. The idea is that mutual vulnerability and reciprocal self-disclosure supports in building a close relationship.

I was totally game. The Mr was too. Sunday night, to close out our weekend, we cracked open a bottle of red wine, sat on our back patio, enjoyed cigars and some peanut M&Ms and dug into the 36 questions. The questions were fun starting with easy asks such as; “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”, “Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.” and “Take four minutes to tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.” Set II was equally interesting asking questions such as: “What is your most treasured memory?”, “What is you’re most terrible memory?” and “What does friendship mean to you?” Rounding out the questions was Set III and Set III included questions such as; “Complete this sentence… “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …” and “Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

We were in love when we started this activity. We are still in love upon completion. However, I think slowing down and taking the time to ask your partner questions you normally wouldn’t, taking the time to answer questions with focus and honesty and dedicating time to conversation with your partner is a healthy activity. We both learned new things about one another, asked deep questions of one another and relished in the opportunity to dedicate time and energy to one another.